I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
