i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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