so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
