if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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