You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
third nipple confirmed
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize