yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
