I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
