Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
