oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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