i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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