I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
