I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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