I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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