billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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