Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
