You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
ugly people sure do ruin things
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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