Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
