thus making me awesome and them whores
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
