Dude my mom stole all your condoms
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
