Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
