And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
