Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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