Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
