i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
