Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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