I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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