Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fuck appropriateness.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
