The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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