I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
