i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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