theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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