am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
