told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
