no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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