sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
