we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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