I should be sponsored by Trojan
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
