i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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