we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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