i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
