why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
