i wish my penis had a tongue
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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