Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
