Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
