maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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