i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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