come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
