Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Text me some of your sweat
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
