hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
