I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
