So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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