If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
