I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize