Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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