HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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