you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
