do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
