I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
