im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Two words: nipple clamps
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