cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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