I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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